Quakka - The Official Cricket Australia Toy Duck now also my Official (and Only) Friend.
Quakka:
What's the matter?
Self:
My knee gave out after 8 kms last night which is going fuck up my training. I've just lost enough money to buy a detached house in Belgravia on the Eng-NZ game and the cricket betting has been a total nightmare all summer. I've got no career prospects, no transferable skills, no long-term future. I can't hit it off with women and I haven't got laid in years. I'm a lazy fat failure. Life just doesn't seem worth living.
Quakka:
You look pretty gay in that vest too. Well, you're on a sixth floor balcony with a razor-sharp steel sculpture temptingly positioned right in the kill zone. Do it. Go on, jump.
Self:
You're supposed to be my (only) friend.
Quakka:
Yes, well that was before I discovered what a self-loathing, boring cunt you are. The world needs fewer Pommie bastards. Get on with it.
3 comments:
Fewer pictures of self in undergarments, please.
My parents once bought me a stuffed toy bear. I named him 'Refund'.
They took the hit and got their money back from the shop.
DY
Fred,
Forgive me. You're quite right. I shouldn't be such a tease.
Here's a photo of me without any clothes on at all. Enjoy...
http://picasaweb.google.com/alex.goldie/MCG/photo#5020848172819925762
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